Silent Treatment is Emotional Abuse How to Cope and Start Feeling Better
Personal ExperienceYear in, year out, I just could not understand or work out the reason why my husband canada goose outlet jackets and I could not seem to go more than a few months without an extended episode of not speaking (almost always over some trivial, inconsequential matter). During much of our marriage, his silent treatment left me feeling depressed, canada goose black friday sale bewildered, and tearful to say the least. Finally, I found a way to turn things around and diminish this pattern, and I am so much happier for it. The changes I made to handle this issue, and my current reflections, are presented in this series of articles for the consideration of anyone who can relate.
canada goose What is the Silent Treatment?The term “silent treatment” refers to when a person uses silence to convey their anger or grievance by ignoring or not speaking to the victim. Here’s an introduction to this topic. Often used by narcissists, silence can be a form of emotional abuse and as such, it is unacceptable. Often, the person giving the silent treatment does so because they want (consciously or unconsciously) their victim to feel unworthy, to appease them, or to feel guilty about something. Alternatively, they may want their victim to apologise for something, even though often they choose not to clarify what is wrong! canada goose
Canada Goose Online A person who is repeatedly on the receiving end of cold shouldering can wind up feeling resigned to being isolated, intimidated, insignificant, and/or despondent. Other times, the victim may feel angry, defiant, resentful, and/or vengeful. Over time, they can become totally worn down; no one should have to endure such conduct. In a family situation, the uncomfortable atmosphere created when parents are intermittently but persistently not speaking (which may ultimately lead to separation or divorce) can negatively affect children. Additionally, emotional stress brought about by persistent silent treatment can affect physical health. Canada Goose Online
If you are now in the initial stages of a relationship with a girlfriend or boyfriend who canada goose outlet nyc engages in the silent treatment, the best canada goose outlet sale thing you can do is to nip this negative behavior in the bud before it becomes a pattern of your union. It is true that the longer it goes on, the more difficult it is to deal with and eradicate, but it is never too late to do something about it. Dealing with a significant other who refuses to talk and interact can be extremely challenging and daunting, but there is hope.
Canada Goose Coats On Sale Are You (Unintentionally) Making It Worth Your Partner’s While to Keep Giving You the Silent Treatment?On this page, you’ll find out how you can stop yourself from feeling so weary, depressed, confused, angry, and/or overwhelmed in the face of silence, and canada goose outlet uk sale make a huge dent in the “pay off” for your partner. Canada Goose Coats On Sale
If silent treatment is ongoing in your relationship, do bookmark this page for future reference as you will official canada goose outlet need to be persistent in your efforts to rise above it (and it’s well worth the effort)!
canadian goose jacket Difference between a Cooling Off Period and the Silent Treatment Following a disagreement or awkward episode, silence can be a good thing as it allows both parties to calm down. A cooling off period works best if both parties can agree to a time when they will come together to resolve the issue. canadian goose jacket
canada goose coats However, do note that the silent treatment differs from a cooling off period in that its duration is extended and unknown. It is not recommended that the victim approach the perpetrator of the silent treatment with canada goose outlet canada a suggested time and date to sit down and discuss matters. This might seem like a good idea, but it is my belief that this tactic does not work when dealing with a habitual abuser of the silent treatment, since they see it https://www.canadagoose-jackets-online.com as a capitulation, and it only serves to feed their desire to control and manipulate. canada goose coats
How to Deal with the Emotional Abuse of the Silent TreatmentSome victims have noted that the more worn down and miserable they get, the happier their abuser becomes. The victim must know that a silent treatment abuser thrives on observing the negative effect they have on their target. Therefore, it is necessary to stop “feeding” that desire for control and power.
canada goose black friday sale This means NOT giving them the satisfaction of seeing the negative emotional effects of their immature behavior. They can derive a great sense of self importance and triumph if you get irate, annoyed, upset, capitulate/apologise, weep, or plead with them to talk to you. Starve them of these rewards for their unjust behavior and they canada goose outlet new york city will likely eventually tire of engaging in the silent treatment. canada goose black friday sale
cheap canada goose uk Whether or not the reason for the cessation of communication is known, here are some strategies to help with “starving” them out and breaking a silent treatment: cheap canada goose uk
Don’t appear upset. The best way to do this is not to allow the abuser’s actions to get you upset canada goose outlet online uk in the first place. Stop yourself from getting stressed by having on hand a previously prepared list of canada goose outlet toronto factory positive things you will do to distract yourself from feeling overwhelmed by the silent treatment. Your list could include listening to uplifting music, exercising, watching your favourite comedy shows, and engaging in hobbies such as painting, reading, or the like.
Canada Goose Outlet Appear to be upbeat. Essentially go about your normal day to day activities and be seen to be positively and contentedly getting on with your canada goose outlet parka life in spite of their efforts to unsettle you. Canada Goose Outlet
Refrain from engaging in tit for tat silence. This is easier said than done but it pays to make a superhuman effort to speak to the other person whenever the need arises about everyday matters. When you talk to them, be sure to use your normal delivery and tone of voice. Do not be tempted into trying to beat them at their own game, for they are experts at it and it will ultimately get you canada goose outlet shop nowhere in terms of eradicating such behavior. Do not allow them to drag you down to their level of immaturity: Two wrongs don’t make a right!
canada goose store Do not try to coax your partner into conversing with you. Just be secure in the knowledge that if they don’t answer you, you will survive. You’ve survived in the past and you will survive now, only this time you will be surviving much more contentedly. When they don’t respond to you or don’t respond well, simply move on with your day canada goose outlet reviews and refuse to dwell on their rudeness. canada goose store
canada goose uk outlet Do not rise to the bait. When they use sarcasm or will only speak to you canada goose outlet in a patronizing manner, instead of getting upset or responding in kind, simply get on with enjoying something on your previously prepared silent treatment survival list of things to do! Let them see that their attempt to rile you is a waste of their time and yours! Remember: Do not “feed” their habit. canada goose uk outlet
Canada Goose Jackets Acting on the above guidance is not easy, and you may falter at times. When this happens, just forgive yourself and press on with the suggestions, for you know you deserve better treatment. Make it a conscious choice to be responsible for your own happiness and soar above the silent treatment. Canada Goose Jackets
Please be aware that if you tell your partner your plans to put the above strategies into action and then, for some reason, you do not follow through, it will likely lead to your partner feeling triumphant and encourage them to engage in silent treatment emotional abuse even more! Therefore, it is not recommended, at any stage, that canada goose factory outlet you tell your partner about these strategies. Just do what you need to do without explanation or prior warning.
cheap Canada Goose Important: If the silent treatment is from a partner who is canada goose outlet uk verbally or physically abusive, rather than acting on the suggestions given here, get help from a professional experienced in such goose outlet canada matters. Also get professional advice before acting on these strategies if you believe your partner may gravitate from silence to physical or verbal abuse, even if they have not done this in the past. cheap Canada Goose
Physical, Emotional, or Verbal Abuse?Some people who give their partner the silent treatment feel they are justified in doing so because their partner has been physically, emotionally, and/or verbally abusive towards them.
In the long term, silence canada goose outlet store is unlikely to enhance the relationship, and it is no guarantee the abuse will stop. Thus, the root cause for why someone feels they have no alternative but to become silent must be addressed, and it is wise to seek the help of a competent professional to deal with such issues when personal safety is an issue. Christmas, Thanksgiving or a wedding) but you and your partner canada goose jacket outlet are not speaking. You may feel stressed and obligated to keep the not canada goose outlet black friday speaking a secret lest you mar the day for others. My advice is to continue with the above strategies and to re double your efforts at being positive. Do not allow yourself to wallow in feeling sorry for yourself or get indignant at the insanity of it all (especially when it’s over a petty matter).
canada goose uk black friday Past experience may have taught you that your partner is not just magically going to start treating you right just because it is a special day. Therefore, instead of merely dreading the occasion, actually plan ahead how you will keep yourself busy and buoyant. Be absolutely resolute within yourself that you are going to have a good day, despite their best efforts to thwart you. You can rise above the silent treatment so that the day will not be a total washout. canada goose uk black friday
Canada Goose sale You Can Stop Yourself Becoming Overwhelmed with Negative FeelingsBy executing the methods suggested above, taking good care of yourself, and positively investing time and energy in choosing to be happier, you can limit negative feelings such as misery and isolation. controlling the way you feel or making you feel bad. Canada Goose sale
canada goose factory sale By conscientiously carrying out canada goose outlet the above strategies, you can stop walking on eggshells because you’re no longer so anxious of your partner’s silence. Moreover, you can stop unintentionally making silent treatment worthwhile for your significant other and become stronger, wiser, and happier in the process. canada goose factory sale
Thinking of Leaving the RelationshipEmotional abuse does not get talked about as much as verbal and physical abuse, but it can be just as devastating and damaging. Thus for some, the only solution to recurring silent abuse is to end the relationship. This takes courage, but many who do so only wish they had done it earlier.
It’s natural to feel extremely apprehensive at the thought of breaking up. For those who find they cannot leave immediately and those who have reason to choose to stay for the duration, the strategies here can empower them to rise above silent abuse.
canada goose coats on sale It may be that a partner will tire of their control tactic if it no longer “works” for them, but there is no guarantee that a person who employs silent abuse will change at all, particularly if that person has a host of other passive aggressive or narcissistic traits. For those who are contemplating leaving their marriage this article, Passive Aggressive Partners Why Do They Act That Way and What canada goose outlet online Are Your Options? will canada goose outlet in usa be of interest canada goose coats on sale.